Second Thoughts in Columbus, Ohio

I find it strange that we search
our whole lives for love
as though it were the final treasure
the solemn purpose of people
in movies and magazines.
Yet when it comes to your door
one morning with calm eyes to deliver itself
you realize it alone is not enough.

You are before me, sweet man,
and I am thinking
Aren't I supposed to give upeverything?
Aren't I supposed to be brave
and abandon
each dream and aspiration
and yield utterly to this
elusive beast love,
to your soft belly and companionship?
Aren't we supposed to have a piece of land-
and children!
-that look like you, and cook
soup and bread and sing
each other songs before sleep
and absentmindedly count the stars
from our front porch as we pray
for each other's keep
and pretend
forever is a word known
not only by the heart?

---Jewel


Okay, it seems too easy, like all the last month didn't happen. I can't help remembering that it did. That I was in the process of disconnetion.